My year is going to be exciting to say the least! Many mixed emotions as I look at that list. The last of the three to get a new level of freedom with a license, the second one to begin a new journey into adulthood with a diploma, and the first one to make a major “no turning back” life change – all full of different emotions for me.
Then to top it all off, they throw a curve ball at me – youngest is headed to work at camp Lamoka in NY for six weeks and the middle one is headed to Peru for a month … WHAT???
All great things – all good things for the service of Christ – all short term, all give mom one on one time with the bride to be this summer – so why the mix of emotions? I’m truly excited for them, I’m purely selfish in my tears – it’s not even worry, both girls will be in great hands! Jenna is within 10 miles of Kevin’s parents, multiple aunts and uncles; Jules will be with a wonderful missionary family who have been on the field in Peru for 20 years and have had many interns come and work with them; Ashli is marrying a wonderful godly young man who we already love – so the feelings are all mixed.
Parties galore … 16th birthday, graduation, wedding reception – Whoop, Whoop!! Tons of planning – organized chaos – Whoohoo! There is no time for tears – right?! Well, I want to live in the moment – I want to be present – I don’t want them to see my tears…Only my hubby and my Lord will see my tears. Maybe a close friend or two, but still desire them to see what strength and dependence on Christ looks like through difficult situations … Lord, I need You; oh I need You! Every hour I need You. My one defense, My righteousness -Oh, God how I need You! The chorus of my heart!
Being a mom has been one of the greatest joys of my life! I know over the years I’ve failed so many times – too many times to count. BUT THANK YOU, Jesus for showing me how to ask for forgiveness and move on! My girls truly understand that mom is a sinner and I need to ask forgiveness – just like they do. It isn’t always easy to do, but I know it is right and so much better when I do!
I think of my how my role of mom has changed over the years – it used to be about taking care of their every minute need – they couldn’t do anything without me. Next it was me teaching them to do the life sustaining things – how to eat, how to dress for the season – (no tank tops and shorts in the snow) how not to run into the street, how we go to church to learn more about Jesus.
Eventually it was more heart issues – be kind to others, watch how you are talking (respect authority), love your sisters – they will eventually be your best friends! we don’t steal, lie, cheat…We love Jesus because He died for us – He conquered death for us!
More recently it has been – how are you living for Christ, are you giving your all at school, finish strong! are you keeping yourself pure in all ways; with your relationships with “those boys” :-), what are you putting into your minds, hearts, lives. Are you giving back? How are you ministering?
Quite the change in how I take care of them – except I still feed them, kiss their boo-boos and occasionally get to tuck them in at night. I know I will learn how to be a good mom for the next stage, but I’m not quite sure what that looks like yet – and if I’m honest; It scares me a bit.
I know I’ll still be able to encourage and love them – it’ll just be from a distance. I know I must learn when to talk and when not to, when to go and when to wait it out, I need to build up and never tear down the one they choose to love, I need to ALWAYS pray…
I know I will learn how to be a good mom for the next stage, but I’m not quite sure what that looks like yet.
I am excited to see what God has in store our family of five – soon to be six. I want to live in the moment these next few months as my family changes. I want to be ALL God wants me to be – even in my tears and my mess ups.
We need each other friends .. I need you! I know there will be days I lose sight of all the good and I know I will make mistakes, but I am asking for your help in setting me straight! I give you permission to hold me accountable, to give me a literal kick-in-the-pants if need be! I ask for and covet your prayers!
What changes and challenges have come and gone or waiting for you this year? How are you preparing? Share your comments below and pass along this article with someone else who might be able to shed some light on keeping strong through the changes or needs some encouragement themselves!
Lord I Need You
Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here, I find my rest
Without You, I fall apart
You’re the One that guides my heart
Where sin runs deep
Your grace is more
Where grace is found, is where You are
Where You are, Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Yes, where You are, Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me
Teach my song
To rise to you
When temptation comes my way,
When I cannot stand
I’ll fall on You
Jesus, You’re my hope and stay
Lord, I need You
Oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense
Oh, God how I need You