Learning to Survive AND Thrive Through It

All of my daughters and I are very similar in one way, we seem to handle coming change with a hefty dose of grouchiness. Yep, we all get a little snippy with those around us.  Why is that?  Why do we bite at those closest to us?

making a mess

I noticed this in the week leading up to Julia leaving for Peru. It wasn’t really full blown yelling,  just little snips here and there, but enough that Dad noticed and said enough!  We needed to have a night to talk and pray together before Julia and Jenna left to minister for the summer.

I struggle with the fact that I have passed on this trait to all my girls – I want so much to be supportive and happy that they are going, doing, serving, growing…but man does it feel yucky sometimes! So instead of being weepy, we get snippy.

Why do we get irritated more easily with things that shouldn’t matter.  How do you keep this from happening?  I really am asking because I know this is not the last time we are going to be in this situation and it’s only going to feel worse as the months get closer to the wedding in December.

I know God is in control – I know He has our good and His glory at the foremost of all these things, but how do I, a poor emotional mamma, teach my girls in the small amount of time I have left with them to be sweet and loving during this time of hard change?

Even as I write this I struggle to keep the tears at bay, in my heart of hearts, I know God has a plan and His plans are to prosper, I am excited for that, but…

Many women have been at this point, I keep reminding myself of this, they have survived and are doing wonderful.  Will I get there? Silly thing is I will – I have to, I have no other choice. It’s more of a matter of how I get there.  I will get there better if I can let go and let God!  So hard to do sometimes because I feel like my letting go feels fake – I say I’m letting go, but am I really?

What happens if something goes wrong – how do I react?  am I calm?  do I encourage?  do I try to fix it right away?  How do I handle the hard stuff like wanting to shut myself off from everybody and everything?  I cling to promises from God’s word, I make myself put one foot in front of the other and focus my energy and love on others.

God seems to always put something in my path to remind me of this – One of the most perfect things that helped me on the day we put Julia on the plane for Peru, was someone posted Psalm 91 protection for her – someone pointed me to scripture that she prayed and I could pray for my child.

She has no idea the effect this had on me – why had I never directly prayed scripture for my child?  It has changed how I will do so in the future!  The comfort of those words are something I will cling to! I was already able to share these verses with another person – Eternal Effect! (another blog for another day :-) )

As I finish these thoughts, I realize it’s only been a week since we were snipping at our house and look how much God has already tried to teach me!

Again today – the day we dropped Jenna off a camp, He reminds me His plans are greater than I can imagine.  I got a phone call from Julia telling me part of her job is to be up by 6 o’clock every morning to get the children she is helping off to school.  Well, anyone who know my Julia knows she likes her sleeping in time, but this is what she said “But mom, as I learned in my devotions – if Paul can get beaten one day and be preaching the next, I can get up all week at 6am!.”  God is in this! I know He is.

I want to know what helped you, moms that have been there, what got you through the times of transition?  What about you moms that are there now?  What are you doing so you don’t lose it and fall apart all of the time?  I would really appreciate your advice and ideas!

What scriptures has God led you too?  What plan of action do you have?


Safety of Abiding in the Presence of God

Psalm 91:1-16 NKJV

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”

Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”


God has blessed me with an incredible life, not without trials and consequences, but one filled with grace and mercy. Each day is filled with adventures of being the wife of an entrepreneur and mother of three wonderful daughters. From leading women's Bible studies to full-on drama productions to PRC advocacy the journey is long, but rewarding.

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  1. Pingback: Maria Smith
  2. I hear you… We’ve had so many changes, transitions, and changes within the transitions that THAT seems to be my norm when all this INFJ personality God created really craves is a solid place and constant situation to live and love and minister. The thing is, once we move on, once time moves on, there’s no going back to recapture what was: Midland has never been “the same” on subsequent furloughs – people move, change, as do we and that glove that seemed to fit perfectly at one time does no longer; Niger was never the same and I had to relearn how to “be” there every single time. Even right now, our house feels so terribly empty with only 5 instead of 8…

    It thrills my heart – in both wonderful and terrifying ways – to see what my bigs are doing, but long-distance parenting isn’t for cowards, even when you know your kids are in good places.

    I don’t get snippy, at least not at first – that is step 3. Step 1 is anxious… panicky… worried… scared… When the heart palpitations and actual physical symptoms start up, I’m to step 2. I know well this path and have learned that sometimes I can nip it right in the bud… which requires rest, lots of reading of “good things, although not JUST scripture,” seeking prayer from my accountability partner, and returning to meditate on a portion of Scripture that I memorized many years back.

    The verses I turn to are those of Philippians – chapters 2 and then my favorite, chapter 4. God has been powerfully using and bringing me back to these words since I was preggo with the Jon-man:

    -Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved.
    – I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord.
    – Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.
    – Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
    – Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
    – do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
    – And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
    – Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
    – What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
    – I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity.
    – Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
    – I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.
    – I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
    – Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble.
    – And you Philippians yourselves know that in the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only.
    – Even in Thessalonica you sent me help for my needs once and again.
    – Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit.
    – I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God.
    – And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
    – To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
    – Greet every saint in Christ Jesus. The brothers who are with me greet you.
    – All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar’s household.
    – The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

    • Thanks for transparent friend! Love these verses – Here’s to keeping each other in our prayers!