CHANGE SURE CAN MAKE A MESS OF ME

Learning to Survive AND Thrive Through It

All of my daughters and I are very similar in one way, we seem to handle coming change with a hefty dose of grouchiness. Yep, we all get a little snippy with those around us.  Why is that?  Why do we bite at those closest to us?

making a mess

I noticed this in the week leading up to Julia leaving for Peru. It wasn’t really full blown yelling,  just little snips here and there, but enough that Dad noticed and said enough!  We needed to have a night to talk and pray together before Julia and Jenna left to minister for the summer.

I struggle with the fact that I have passed on this trait to all my girls – I want so much to be supportive and happy that they are going, doing, serving, growing…but man does it feel yucky sometimes! So instead of being weepy, we get snippy.

DON’T UNDERESTIMATE YOUR PARENTING PROWESS

You have the skill... make your move.

Have you ever had that moment when your child is in their room supposedly doing their homework, when you get that gut feeling they probably aren’t doing what they are supposed to be doing? You know in your soul that you need to put down your ipad, get up off the couch, and go check it out? But…

iT'S YOUR MOVE!

You quickly begin to second guess yourself. They have to be doing their homework, after all you told them too. Are you right? Are you just paranoid? Truly, they are old enough to handle it, aren’t they?

3 KNEE BENDING MOMENTS EVERY MOM FACES

Driving Tests, Diplomas, and Wedding Bells

My year is going to be exciting to say the least! Many mixed emotions as I look at that list. The last of the three to get a new level of freedom with a license, the second one to begin a new journey into adulthood with a diploma, and the first one to make a major “no turning back” life change – all full of different emotions for me.

wedding-graduation-driving

Then to top it all off, they throw a curve ball at me – youngest is headed to work at camp Lamoka in NY for six weeks and the middle one is headed to Peru for a month … WHAT???

LIVING WITHOUT A FICO SCORE

fico score = "debt" score

Some have been asking if it can be done, especially for those getting out of college, looking to rent, getting married, and/or looking to purchase their first home.  Here are some resources that the folks at Financial Peace University directed me to, along with some resources I found in my own research.

 
A few things that stand out to me…
 
1. Going FICO ‘free’ will not be as ‘easy’ as having a good FICO score.  However, getting a good FICO score also means you have to acquire debt of some sort.  Even if it’s a gas or store credit card that you commit to paying off every month … it comes with temptation and why walk the line if you don’t have to.
 
2. If we just put the same effort into staying FICO ‘free’ as it took some of us to get out of debt we’d be better off in the long run.
 
I hope these resources help:)
worry empties today of strength

THE DREADED HIGH SCHOOL ‘S’ WORD: SENIORITIS

How to play the game and WIN!

Every high school senior struggles with senioritis at some point. We know it, you know it, the younger kid watching you in the hallway knows it. “It’s just a matter of time before you get it” they all say… but could they be wrong?

girl looking bored senioritis

Despite what you might think, I’m not tooting my own horn because I want you to see how great of a person I am. Because I’ve battled with it, and guess who won? You got it. SENIORITIS!

HOW GOD GOT MY ATTENTION! BTW… I THOUGHT HE ALREADY HAD IT

The Journey to Learning that Good things may not always be the Right things.

Have you ever had a life changing experience? One that maybe was sent by God to get your attention? Because maybe He had been trying to get your attention for years …. maybe you would get what He was saying, but you either wouldn’t listen or you would only listen for a while but then you’d go right back to what you were doing…

woman surrending
I believe I did; I feel as if God finally had enough of His daughter trying to do it her way and He said, “No more”.

For years I struggled with what it was God wanted me doing – what was His will for my life; I just knew it had to be more than “just” being a stay at home wife and mother. After all that wasn’t really a ministry and I knew I was suppose to be in ministry – somehow, some way…In fact probably in many ways, right?

DIG UP THE SEEDS OF DECEPTION BEFORE THEY TAKE ROOT

Do we let the little things go or face them for what they could become?

My daughters get a little frustrated at me sometimes when I ‘pick on the little things’ as they see it. You know the times when something happens and it seems like ‘no big deal’ to your daughter, but as a parent you recognize that if this moment passes without taking the opportunity to teach, you may have allowed a potential ‘bad seed’ to take root.

daughter plant seeds lying and deception

For example, Jenna the other evening is talking with her oldest sister in the dining area of the house and I am sitting in the living room. Ashli asks Jenna, ‘did your phone crack or just the protective cover’? Of course that sparks my attention and I lift my head up in their direction and Jenna is peeking at me with that look. You know the one with the ‘ I didn’t want dad to know about that’ kinda look.

I let the conversation play out and then lovingly, but firmly asked her to never do that again. “No need to keep anything from dad. Even something as simple as the condition of your phone … it’s not even about the phone, it’s about the fact you decided to keep it from me”. It wasn’t about trust on her part in this situation, it was about fear in this case. Fear of having a consequence, fear of disappointment.

So, did I over-react? As a parent what do you do? How should we respond? Do we just let it go and not address it? Is it really ‘no big deal?

SKIPPING TOWN OR STAYING HOME

How staying local for 'higher education' stretched and shaped me.

I had just graduated from high school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do for my life and following a guy to school wasn’t a great idea, so what now? I didn’t need or want to go into debt for schooling especially if I had no idea, no revelation of what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing.

decision-making

So, my parents suggested cosmetology school, it was local, I had an interest in it, I could stay at home and save money so if in that time I figured out what I was going to do I could have a job, a way to provide for myself and schooling. So that was it, a trade that I could keep forever and use to help out the present me and the future me.

SHOULD MY DAUGHTER DATE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

Why and how we say yes.

This question has presented itself over and over in recent years as Kevin and I are raising our three daughters. When our girls were younger we noticed many people; people whom we looked up to, had taken the approach of no dating in high school. When our girls were little we thought – Yes! that is the best answer, but we quickly observed that this might not be the approach we really wanted to stick with.

daughter shoes

As we began to experience the beginning of crushes that were turning into something a little more, we began with the whole – “You’re not dating till you’re out of high school” route. Then we got caught up in a situation of sneaking behind mom and dad’s back to try things out anyway. This caused us to really rethink our approach; was this really the way we wanted to go? If we didn’t help our girls through their first experiences with boys – how would they learn how God wanted them to interact with them and eventually with their future husbands?